I don’t know about you, but I find it very disturbing to go on vacation and discover that there are tons and tons of hidden fees that were never disclosed to me in advance. When a hotel advertises that a room will cost me a hundred dollars a night, I expect to pay exactly that and no more — one hundred dollars per night! More and more though, hotels are finding ways to nickel and dime their customers to death. If it’s not a “facilities fee” or a “health club fee” (for facilities and health clubs you may not even want to use) then it’s, I kid you not, a telephone access fee! That one was the final straw for me. I challenged the desk clerk over it. “You’re kidding,” I said. “You want to charge me a fee for the telephone whether I use it or not? I’ve got a cell phone! I won’t even touch the phone in the room — I have no reason to!” She explained that the fee was for the convenience of the telephone existing in the room. What convenience? At that point I requested a room without a phone. I didn’t get one, but I did get the fee removed.

So what’s my point? It’s that for my next vacation, my husband and I are going to go to an all inclusive couples resort. That’s the solution to the fee game — choose an all inclusive couples resort as your holiday destination. There are no hidden charges or fees when you vacation at an all inclusive couples resort, although you can go there by yourself if you prefer. You just might be a tad lonely since most people there will already be hooked up. But back to the fee issue — you don’t have to tip the doorman or waiter in the restaurant — all tips and services are fully included in your vacation package. There won’t be a pay by the item honor bar in your room, and you won’t find a rental charge applying when you need a hotel towel provided to you out at the pool area. There are no green fees at the golf course and the hotel will even pick up the tab, tip included, for getting you there. Some all inclusive couples resorts even offer scuba diving lessons free of charge, complete with a final dive at the end of your lesson. It goes without saying that wireless internet access is included in the cost of your stay. I think that might have been the fee that irritated me the most of all, because it was usually so high. Ten dollars a day for internet? Please. Not at an all inclusive couples resort!